Successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
German Greer
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There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
Homer
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.
Polish Proverb
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Anonymous
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henry Youngman
“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.”
Short funny quotes, Noelie Altito.
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“Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.”
Short funny quotes, Ken Dodd.
“One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool”
Short funny quotes, Edgar Watson Howe.
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.”
Short funny quotes, Unknown.
“My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.”
Short funny quotes, Paul Getty.
Why not have your cake and eat it too – it’s cake, what else are you going to do with it?
I’m not only weird, I’m gifted too!
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. “Very funny Scotty, now beam me down my clothes…” – Kirk
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why are you scared
I used to soar with eagles before I got sucked into a jet engine.
All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen.
It’s hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world.
Reduce Check-in Line Ups. Fly Naked!
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you? – Erma Bombeck
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you. – Erma Bombeck
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.- Groucho Marx
Wow! You’re really fat! – - Dane Peddigrew
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it. – Unknown
